You deserve what you desire
You deserve what you desire. Do you believe me when I say that?
We often live our lives following unconscious beliefs about what we deserve, who we are or what we are capable of. Not all of those beliefs serve us well.
In fact, some of these beliefs can be self-limiting and they are a result of emotional injuries. When we find ourselves in bad situations, we might start incorporating into ourselves the qualities of these situations. It’s an unconscious defense mechanism that makes us feel like we have control. Overtime those qualities turn into self-beliefs as we start seeing ourselves as those who:
- have bad luck in life,
- never win or succeed,
- are hard to like or even love,
- are not good enough.
How can we reverse those negative self-beliefs?
I often hear one of the two types of advice given to people who have strong negative self-beliefs:
1. Fake it till you make it.
2. Repeat positive affirmations until you start believing them.
The challenge is that if deep down we feel that something isn’t true, our unconscious may reject those positive messages. For instance, if we feel undeserving of love and keep repeating to ourselves “I am loveable”, it may actually lead to us feeling worse about ourselves. For some of us, it may feel like rubbing salt in the wound, while for others it may feel like empty words.
The first step is therefore to unlearn those limiting beliefs before we replace them with new ones, and to do it, we need to heal the wounds underneath them.
As long as the event that led to a certain self-belief remains unprocessed, it will continue driving negative thoughts and emotions.
How to heal the emotional wounds?
Emotional healing is what we do when we say we’re doing the “inner work”.
As a therapist and a yoga teacher, I deeply believe that psychotherapy is one of the best ways to heal our emotional wounds. It’s not the only way though and there are plenty of tools out there that you can tap into from energy healing, to somatic therapy, and other forms of alternative healing.
Final piece of advice
If you decide to embark on your healing journey, don’t go alone. Find a therapist, or a healer who can guide you, support you and hold space for you when you need it. You can do a lot of the inner work on your own, but having the support of another person can take you to places that you may not be able to go to alone.
Looking for emotional healing support in Dublin?
If you’re ready to begin your healing journey but don’t know how to find a therapist, check out this blog post that discusses different ways to do it. If you’re interested in personal Cacao ceremony or private therapeutic yoga sessions, drop me a massage at jlangiertherapy@gmail.com