Top 3 Strategies For Coping With Loneliness
Loneliness can be difficult to feel and navigate. People who find themselves feeling lonely and needing connection, often turn to the Internet, social media or ChatGPT for insights, tips and techniques. It is also common to come to psychotherapy in search of resolution to this feeling.
When we find ourselves feeling lonely, the way to heal our heart is to get to know the loneliness. We must ask ourselves what is the feeling underneath loneliness. Is there some sandess in there? Do I need more meanginful connections with people? Do I have a deep desire to be heard, seen, touched, loved? Am I moving through grief? Have I lost someone I loved? What is it that I am longing for?
Loneliness is a common human experience
If you’re feeling lonely, sometimes it helps to know that you’re not the only one, and there are other people who share this experience. According to a global survey, 33% of the adult population feels lonely.
While being common, loneliness is also quite individual – everyone may experience it slightly differently. Here are some ways that people described loneliness:
“I feel empty inside”.
“I’m full of sadness”.
“I feel isolated and cut off from others”.
“I just want to be heard, and understood. I don’t think anyone values me”.
“It’s like I’m always on the outside looking in. I never feel like I belong”
“Nobody cares about me. I just wish someone would love me”.
Loneliness is a complex emotional state and it develops in response to several factors, including:
- individual personality traits,
- personal relationships, and support networks,
- family history,
- age,
- physical health,
- past experiences.
Coping mechanisms for loneliness
If the feeling of loneliness persists for an extended period of time and affects your daily life, it can be helpful to reach out for support of a psychotherapist or a counsellor. In the meantime, there are other things you could try to manage and alleviate the feelings:
1. Practice self-care
This may sound obvious, but practising self-care activities like yoga, exercise, or meditation, can boost our self-compassion, enhance self-awareness and create a positive structure and give us a sense of empowerment. Over time, this helps us to create more inner stability and enhances our intuition. We can gain deeper understanding of what it is we want in our relationships and what we do not want. From this space we can seek more meaningful connections, that are aligned with our own needs.
2. Consciously take steps towards building your support network
Sign up for meetups, join book clubs, hiking or running clubs, sign up to learn a new skill or to participate in a workshop that will allow you to meet like-minded people. Actively seek opportunities to engage with others and build relationships centred around common values and interests.
Remember: it takes time.
3. Join support groups
Groups that I often recommend are those offered by Aware.ie. Groups like this one are free to attend, confidential, and available to anyone who needs it. Aware specialize in depression, anxiety and mood-related issues, but you do not need a formal diagnosis to join. The groups take place online and in-person, almost every day of the week. Support groups like these offer a space where you can openly talk about your difficulties, and hear about the experience of others. It is an opportunity to give and receive support and share tips, and advice.
Final piece of advice
Healing loneliness is not something that happens overnight. It requires time, and energy. It is important to be kind and patient with yourself throughout. While the above techniques can help to manage and even alleviate the intensity of the feelings, sometimes what is needed is a deeper work. If you feel ready, consider trying psychotherapy. A good therapist can help you navigate the complexities of your experience, and develop new ways of dealing with it.